Had a totally crappy kind of day. My morning was like BLAH because of some things that I don't even want to talk about. The girls were rather pissed too. A lot of balls will be missing if they can get their way.
Fell asleep while watching TV. Was trying to get those emo-ish thoughts out but I fell asleep. Woke up to have dinner and when my dad came home, things went downhill a lot quicker.
I do not like people going into my room without my permission. But my dad seems to think he has this "special" privilege. He likes to go into my room, mess around with my stuff, moving my stuff and god-knows what else. And, he has this habit of walking out to the corridor without shoes (like eww?)! So I totally hate it when he enters my room because god-knows where those feet have been?
I have tried telling him nicely and explaining to him patiently. Didn't work. So, as I was having a bad day, I told him, "You entered my room AGAIN?" and he started yelling at me. Saying that he is my dad so that gives him the right to do anything he wants to do (my ass!) and moves anything he wants to move. Not only that, he started coming up with really ridiculous and downright childish comments like, "So, let me check with you. Can I help you touch your cup?" and all those ridiculous stuff (even my mum thinks so).
And I started crying and crying and crying. I guess this just kind of triggers the water works. I've been feeling downright awful since the start of this week and it sort of got worse with the events that happened in the morning. I don't know.
I am feeling so tired. So sick of the predictability of my life. Sick of how monotonous my life is.
Why is it that people can have such colorful and exciting lives? Why is my world still stuck in black and white?
How many friends do I have? Do I have any at all? I've been talking about ephemeral friends. Maybe all my friends are those kind of friends. Why is it that I can't seem to find those kind of friendship that seems so easy? Who do I call when I am crying like that?
Questions and more Questions circling round and round.
I don't even want to look myself in the mirror now. Because if I do, I am just going to ask more questions about myself. My appearance. My tummy. My height. My shape. My chest. My butt. My skin.
Do you know how it feels like to not like yourself? When your self-esteem decides to commit suicide (i.e. plunged)?
Maybe everything looks so bad now because I am tired.
I am going to watch whatever show I can find and go to bed.
Tomorrow will be a better, won't it?
Fell asleep while watching TV. Was trying to get those emo-ish thoughts out but I fell asleep. Woke up to have dinner and when my dad came home, things went downhill a lot quicker.
I do not like people going into my room without my permission. But my dad seems to think he has this "special" privilege. He likes to go into my room, mess around with my stuff, moving my stuff and god-knows what else. And, he has this habit of walking out to the corridor without shoes (like eww?)! So I totally hate it when he enters my room because god-knows where those feet have been?
I have tried telling him nicely and explaining to him patiently. Didn't work. So, as I was having a bad day, I told him, "You entered my room AGAIN?" and he started yelling at me. Saying that he is my dad so that gives him the right to do anything he wants to do (my ass!) and moves anything he wants to move. Not only that, he started coming up with really ridiculous and downright childish comments like, "So, let me check with you. Can I help you touch your cup?" and all those ridiculous stuff (even my mum thinks so).
And I started crying and crying and crying. I guess this just kind of triggers the water works. I've been feeling downright awful since the start of this week and it sort of got worse with the events that happened in the morning. I don't know.
I am feeling so tired. So sick of the predictability of my life. Sick of how monotonous my life is.
Why is it that people can have such colorful and exciting lives? Why is my world still stuck in black and white?
How many friends do I have? Do I have any at all? I've been talking about ephemeral friends. Maybe all my friends are those kind of friends. Why is it that I can't seem to find those kind of friendship that seems so easy? Who do I call when I am crying like that?
Questions and more Questions circling round and round.
I don't even want to look myself in the mirror now. Because if I do, I am just going to ask more questions about myself. My appearance. My tummy. My height. My shape. My chest. My butt. My skin.
Do you know how it feels like to not like yourself? When your self-esteem decides to commit suicide (i.e. plunged)?
Maybe everything looks so bad now because I am tired.
I am going to watch whatever show I can find and go to bed.
Tomorrow will be a better, won't it?
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